Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
