I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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