Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize