What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
