We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
