I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
