These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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