you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
