Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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