So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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