I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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