he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
