What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
