Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize