I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
