Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
