I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
