I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
