Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize