Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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