i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
