oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
