I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
