Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We are two peas in an std pod
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
