ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
