We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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