I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
