Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
