he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She told me I should be a condom model.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize