yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
