how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
