is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
