I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
