Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
