I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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