Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ketchup is God's man juice
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
