I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
