I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
