I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
