I want to make a zoo with you.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize