yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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