You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
