Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
