Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
