just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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