i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
