CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize