wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
