She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
