Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
