$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Panties = found
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