i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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