I wish I only lived at night.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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