so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
