we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
