she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
