wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize