To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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