i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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