Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
