What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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