ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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