You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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