I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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