Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
