I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Someone signed my nipple.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
