There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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