is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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