4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
