I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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